My sculpture, Mr Toolman has now been missing for several days and may be confused and disoriented. A school of fish sighted him at a depth of 20,000 leagues off the east coast of Florida, heading further east into international waters. Conflicting reports indicate that he is either under attack by a giant squid or being lured by mermaids into a life insurance scam. Still others insist that he is safely on his way to France.